What is your heart’s desire? What do you REALLY want?
Notice what happens inside you as you sit with that question. What is my heart’s desire? What do I really, really want? Watch your mind generate all sorts of answers, excuses, plausible reasons not to even consider the question, and perhaps even responses that are socially appropriate.
Maybe you were taught that it is rude to WANT something. Maybe you had many experiences of disappointment in your wants, to the point that you stopped WANTING. Or you told yourself you didn’t have any WANTS. Maybe you are very busy trying to make sure other people get what they WANT, and your own little wants have lost their voices.
Watch your thoughts as you start to consider this question. Notice if you resist the question itself (“I don’t need to read this stuff.”) Notice if you reject your ideas about what you might want. How do we get past the mind’s pattern of criticizing itself? It is hard to know what you really want if you have an inner critic telling you to shut up all the time.
Now try an experiment. Get up on your feet. Yes, you, right now, on your feet! Jump up and down a little bit, get your breathing going. Now hop around on one foot, then the other foot, and maybe even wave your arms around up over your head. Yes, get silly and move around vigorously, shaking your head, letting your jaw go loose, maybe letting some sound out of your mouth….
“ahhhh, ooommmmmm, raaaahhhhhh, bbbrrrrrrrr…” whatever sounds come out as you are jumping, jogging, shaking, and waving.
Oh, yeah. Just let ‘er rip! Let your body move, let your voice come out, get energy flowing all through your body. It could be a dance, could be cheer-leading, could be gymnastics or calisthenics whatever works for you, but it needs to be vigorous, free, and energetic. Yahoo!
Now let your body come back to a still place. Feel your feet firmly on the ground, feel the breath in your body, notice your heartrate, still elevated, and notice what is happening in your thoughts, in your mind. And now, just standing there, let your answer come….What do I really, really want? What is my heart’s desire?
Let go of any judgment, any self-criticism. What do I want, now that I have let my body start to have its voice? Just notice what ideas come up for you, and see if you can make note of them without commentary. What do I want? What does my heart want most right now? Nothing is off limits…whatever arises for you, that’s what you want.
And your job is to let it be okay that you want what you want. That’s all….you can want whatever it is that you want. Just wanting is a big thing for many of us. This exercise is a beginning. Your heart’s desire is there waiting for recognition.
What did you find out when you tried the little experiment? I wonder what would happen if you did it several days in a row? Could you get more skillful at letting the body’s truth come out? Could you start to recognize self-criticism and learn to just let that go?
A Body Psychotherapist's Journal 